Me an Einstein? Just Kidding!

I am really, really sorry about the Einstein thing. In one of my first posts I claimed that I married an Einstein (with photo evidence). For years I hoped fantasized about the royalties that go to the Einstein Trust at Hebrew University in Jerusalem. But wouldn't you know it? I stake my claim, and Disney announces it's giving refunds to parents who bought Baby Einstein DVD's! People thought sitting their babies in front of the DVD's would make them geniuses, and this may not be true. As Goofy would say, "Garwsh!" A parent watchdog group lawyered up and got their class action suits in a bunch. Disney caved. Or maybe they figured that not that many parents who sit their infants in front of the TV are likely to be conscientious enough to repack DVD's and send them back for refunds.

But you can't blame parents for thinking their kids are smarter sooner. Have you seen the "4-D sonogram" photos of babies still in the womb? Saturday night a woman showed us one of her expected grandchild. She had the amazingly detailed pic on her iPhone. My smart aleck husband stared and asked, "How did you manage to get the phone up there?" She didn't laugh. But I did. Which is why we stay married. When we found out we were having twins in the early 80's, our black and white sonogram snapshot looked like a negative of two eggs over easy or the Shroud of Turin. Ah, but technology marches ahead! If we can get instant gratification, why can't our babies get instant illumination?

Don't blame me about the Baby Einstein kerfuffle. My kids warned me. They said all along that if they had Einstein genes, they should have scored higher on their college boards. What did happen to the Einstein genes? I found the answer on YouTube. (Is there anything you can't find there?) Click on this link: Talking Parrot Einstein. It doesn't take a genius to see what happened. The genes crossed species like the bird flu. If the link doesn't work, just search YouTube with the words "Talking Parrot Einstein."

Diva Updates
The plug-in coffee mug from Carol Wright Gifts came and so far works great. My husband arrives at work with hot coffee after a half-hour commute. I also recommended the Absorbent Soap Dish from the Vermont Country Store. This soap dish is made out of some sort of pumice stone and really works. No more gooey soap, and the bar lasts forever! I swear on my Diva domain. Unfortunately I discovered that the VCS only has one color left and seems to be discontinuing the item. But I found an online catalog that has it in lots of colors and cheaper. For the Absorbent Soap Dish, go to The Discount Cupboard.

For refunds on Baby Einstein, don't look at me. When my kids were babies, I read them one book over and over. I think it is one of the best kid's book ever written: The Monster At The End of This Book. This book made my kids what they are today: perfectly good enough for me!

Meanwhile, if any women want to discuss a class action suit on the "someday my prince will come" thing, let's talk.