I have a dear friend who is an expert estate sale/garage sale shopper. She has yet not purchased the item for $2 that turns out to be worth $350,000 on Antiques Roadshow, but she has furnished her home with lovely, stylish things. A few weeks ago our elderly neighbors across the street moved out and into an assisted living complex. They called this week to tell me they were having an estate sale at their home on Friday. I have been at their house many times. They are a wonderful couple in their 80's, and they had many quality items from a lifetime of travel. I called Nancy C., Estate Sale Queen, but she couldn't make it. I am a rank amateur.
My office faces their house. The time was set for 10 a.m. I was working on my computer. At precisely 9:55 a.m., cars arrived as if descending from an alien cloud. I couldn't resist. I had to look. People were already schlepping boxes, furniture and bags of Antiques Roadshow-worthy items. There was a book for sale I probably should have nabbed earlier: Know Your Antiques.
In the corner of the living room was something I had often admired when visiting. It was a virtually new electronic keyboard. Macon, the owner, had only used it twice; plus it was the kind with all the bells and whistles--rhumba, tango, waltz backgrounds and so on. The picture here gives you an idea; his was even fancier.
I have always wanted to be a figure skater, and I also have always wanted to play piano. I cannot read a note of music. But just the way I imagine myself gracefully gliding on ice and being lifted in the air by Evan Lysacek, I visualize myself sitting down and playing effortlessly. The keyboard had a price tag of $60, which was a great deal. And for me, a good neighbor and friend, he would practically give it to me for $40! I was ready to buy, but then I paused.
If I bought the keyboard, I'd have to pay for lessons, and I'd have to buy books for my lessons. Then I'd have to invite people over for recitals. So I'd have to buy folding chairs. Of course, I'd have to buy yummy appetizers for them to eat while they were listening. So I'd have to get snack tables and classy paper plates and napkins. And so many would be clamoring to hear me, we'd need a bigger house...and yeah, it would be like buying the mouse a cookie.
And if that scenario didn't materialize, there was the other one: the keyboard would sit in the garage with the rest of the stuff I don't use. I wonder what these things say to each other at night? The electronic keyboard might turn to the electric fountain (which makes me want to pee when I plug it in) and say: Of all the gin joints and garages in the world, I had to get put in this one. Tacky garden decor, Beatles albums and a complete set of Weird Al Yankovic VHS tapes. Bummer, man.
In the end I decided to let my other neighbor buy the keyboard. This is the neighbor who has a pool table in her den, so I figure maybe someday she'll be selling that. I have no idea how to play pool, but if I get a good deal, it might be fine. Then I'd need that chalk stuff. And the rack for the sticks. And if it ended up in the garage, it would be a great place for folding laundry.
I have to admit it. There are people who are more clever, witty and creative than I am. A few. And one of them is Jessica Bern, a single parent who has been blogging, doing one-woman shows, creating videos and making me laugh for several years. Her website, BernThis, has this as a subtitle: Read this blog and I promise you won't have to meet my family. Inspired! And this week she has added hilarity to the Olympics by creating her own Olympic events. Please take a moment and watch this:
Jessica has inspired me to invent and win my own Olympic event: THE BATTLE OF THE 1/2 PRICE VALENTINE CANDY. Those of you who follow my blog know I have already begun to cross-train for this event by abstaining from cake. Usually, every February 15, I head to the closest drug store, get a cart and start down the 1/2 price candy aisle. The first to jump me are usually the Junior Mints and the Hershey mini bars. They wrestle me to the ground. Then dark chocolate cherries catapult into the cart followed by anything with the name Ghiradelli on it.
But this week I did it! I did NOT go to the drugstore. I actually ate an apple. An apple! OMG. I am giving myself the GOLD. If Bob Costas interviews me, I can look him in those big brown eyes and truthfully say that I did not inject myself with processed sugar on February 15!
Today I went in for a prescription and held my breath as I took a cautious sideway glance at the demonic aisle. Everything was already gone. I did it! I won! Time to train for the 1/2 PRICE "PEEPS" POST EASTER EVENT. I can do it! USA! USA!
Please add your own Olympic events in the comments below! And do yourself a favor by subscribing to http://www.bernthis.com/.
Erik and I have been married 30 years, and we are rarely apart. This week, however, the high school where he teaches technology sent him on a rare two-day trip to Phoenix. The reason: the school has purchased a laser engraving system so they can make their own plaques, trophies, etc. They sent Erik and the shop industrial arts teacher to train them on using the system. I love my husband, and I love what he made me for Valentine's Day. You can't find it in a catalog. You will note that he engraved some of my favorite sayings, a vase that says "Happy Valentine's Day, Susan 2010" (which is already filled with daffodils blooming in my garden right now)! The tote bag says "Susan loves Erik" over "Erik loves Susan." (Well, he does teach high school...) And last but not least, the mug holder with my mug on it! He also brought me a necklace, but that's going back. He isn't as talented in picking out jewelry as he is in shop industrial arts. But that's okay. He's a real gem and the only one I need. Happy Love Day all! If you can't be with the one you love...you know the rest.
I am back to my weight B.C. -- Before Cake. Back to eating fresh fruits and vegetables, watching salt intake, wearing my pedometer and yada, yada, yada. The first week I lost 3.5 pounds, a big victory for me. I almost ate cake to celebrate! Then I lost another pound this week. My husband, on the "program" with me, lost FIVE. Damn it! Why do men always lose so fast? Yeah, I know, it's the muscle mass thing, but it's so irritating!
We did successfully return the calorie calculator. Now I am itching to buy something else. Like a talking scale. Wouldn't that be fun? They even have one that says things like, "It's a good thing I can talk, 'cause you probably can't see me" or "Is somebody else on here with you?" Nah. An insulting scale would get old pretty fast. Besides I am not so shallow that I want to obsess about numbers. Oh, no. I'm in it for health, longevity and so if a policeman ever stops me, he won't think I am driving with someone else's license.
However, I did find a nifty and chic item, available on Amazon. This Talking English/Spanish Bathroom Scale American says your weight in Spanish or English. I like this idea. I could get my weight and a Spanish lesson at the same time. Improve my body and my mind; nothing shallow in that. And I am sure whatever my weight is, it would sound better in another language.
My husband still keeps one recording of a message I left on his cell phone. It was a day during the summer when I was going crazy on a writing deadline. All you hear is me screaming, "CAKE! I NEED CAKE!" Maybe it isn't as scandalous as the messages left by Tiger Wood's mistress, but it is definitely one of those moments when my true self was revealed.
Okay, so I probably won't buy the scale. As long as I don't buy cake, I'm good for another day.
It is often said that the way we face adversity shows our true character. I will extrapolate and say that when you are an inveterate shopper, what you don't buy reveals your true grit. This snow globe is something I am not buying; but I really, really want to. I'm not buying it because it is a dust-catching tschotcke, and I don't need it. But I really, really want it! It's the Go Red Snow Globe with the signature red dress to remind us that heart disease is still the Number One killer of women. That's right. It's not breast cancer. I guess boobs are sexier, no matter what. (I say this with no disrepect to the Susan Komen Foundation, which does miraculous things for breast cancer awareness.) But I am glad that the Red Dress Campaign has tremendously raised women's awareness of heart disease.
I was shocked by my own vulnerability in October, 2006. So I will remember to wear red tomorrow, Friday, February 6 for National Wear Red Day. I don't need a fancy snow globe, although it is cute, isn't it? I can throw on a red turtleneck. Those of you on the East Coast might want to throw on some red snow boots.
Now I try to eat right and exercise. Go to the American Heart Association web site for terrific advice on what this means. One of the things it means is watching your sodium. That is almost harder for me to give up than...cake! Some nutritionists feel we should eliminate all sodium. Zilch. Zero. Try to find anything in a box or can with NO sodium (or even under 150 mg. per serving). The only way to achieve it is to empty the contents and eat the package.
I recently heard a well-respected nutritionist give a lecture on the evils of salt. He said there are now studies that show a definitive correlation between excessive salt consumption and Alzheimer's. To me the thought of imminent senility is far scarier than death. Dropping dead? I can live with that. But I already have trouble remembering where I park the car. And the other day I emailed my son, who was going to meet a dignitary. After I pressed "send," I realized I had written: "Remember to shake his eye and look him in the hand."
Yessir. Time for me to start watching those sodium labels! Skip the chips during the Super Bowl. Wear red tomorrow and love your heart!
My name is Susan and I am a cake-aholic. Cake is what they call my "trigger" food. If I ate as much cake as I could, I would soon weigh as much as Roy Rogers' horse. My sister, the gourmet, doesn't get it. She cannot see how I can stand to eat "store bought" cake. It's simple: I never met a cake I didn't like. However, I realize my love of obsession with cake is battering my attempts to appear on the Smuckers Jar of life. So once again I have begun a healthy eating and exercise plan. This week I lost 2.5 pounds. This is a big weight loss for a less than five-footer like me. In Weight Watchers they call this "water weight." In my case, it was pure cake weight. Every time I embark on a diet healthy eating regimen, I have to buy something. This makes my husband nuts. This time it was a calorie calculator. I ordered it from Amazon and swore that I could set it up myself. After one hour and a half entering the "basic information" such as my height, current weight, goal weight, etc., I thought I had passed the worst.Then I tried entering what I ate for the day. OMG. A bowl of oatmeal took 20 minutes. Who do they design these keys for: Tinker Bell? Back in the box it went. Whew. Only lost $6 shipping on this one.
The only weight loss healthy lifestyle gadget that always works for me is my trusty Omron HJ-112 Digital Pocket Pedometer. (Only $23 at Amazon.)I put this baby in my pocket and strive for 10,000 steps per day. It's the only health gadget I haven't returned or thrown away. It works great, and it even automatically resets to zero every night at midnight. It reminds me that every day is a new one. Even for cake addicts, it's one day at a time.
When I went on Amazon to pull up the picture to post here, Amazon's all-knowing elves told me that I had bought mine on October 11, 2006.That was six days after my first (and so far only) heart attack. You'd think that would have been enough to get me off cake for good, wouldn't you?
The gizmo I would really like to find is the calculator that would tell me how many times I have already lost the same 2.5 pounds. On second thought, I don't want to know the answer. It would just trigger another round of Little Debbies.
says your weight in Spanish or English. I like this idea. I could get my weight and a Spanish lesson at the same time. Improve my body and my mind; nothing shallow in that. And I am sure whatever my weight is, it would sound better in another language.
. (Only $23 at Amazon.)I put this baby in my pocket and strive for 10,000 steps per day. It's the only health gadget I haven't returned or thrown away. It works great, and it even automatically resets to zero every night at midnight. It reminds me that every day is a new one. Even for cake addicts, it's one day at a time. 