The Event Conspiracy

I agree with Betty White, who said after she found out what Facebook was, she realized it was a "colossal waste of time." I have about 53 friends on Facebook, only because I am too much of a wus to "not friend" anybody who asks me. My kids just sent me an email to confirm that I am their mother. What the  %$#@? Is that so if they get in trouble, I have to make bail? I almost never go to my Facebook page, because, well...I don't get it. And I know I don't get it because I'm too friggin' old to get it. 

I don't know how to text because I don't get that either. I'm too friggin' old to get it. (And my thumbs are too fat.)

Scene from The Event, NBC

However, there has always been one media outlet that I could depend on to keep me feeling part of the contemporary world: Television. I have been a television baby since I was born, and even if I don't like some of it, I can get it. But now the TV is out to exclude me, too. It started with "Lost," which was aptly named. But this season I was determined to make more of an effort and see if my TV brain cells still had it. So I watched the premiere of "The Event." Maybe it's a test to see if you have Alzheimer's. I didn't get it, and I know I don't get it because I'm too friggin' old to get it.

I think this is the real EVENT: in a hidden compound in the wilds of Burbank a group of 19-21-year-old writers are writing shows that will eventually make everyone over 40 think they are brain dead. These hapless souls will end up in special homes with TV's that have "child controls" instead of parental ones.  

I am just too friggin' old to get it, but I'll give it another try tonight. If you can figure it out, let me know. Maybe your brain cells are younger.